CWiggz! Speaks

Personal Album Review: Luminous Dark Alleys by Tah Phrum Duh Bush

2010-10-22T07:43:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to do my blog a little different, so I'm publishing a personal review I wrote of a new album and book done by a friend of mine, Tah Phrum Duh Bush. Read my thoughts about Tah's compelling new work "Luminous Dark Alleys: The Insomniac Works"

What's up, Tah:

Niiiiice job on this, Tah. It's personal, unique, creative, generous, and well put together. The concept book/cd bundle is very creative, and the personal confession in the book is daring and noble. Your rhymes are SWEET, and very worth going back to learn a thing or two about how it's done. Your flow mixes interesting rhythmic pacing with original punchlines that really do the medium of rap justice. Not to mention, your personalized subject matter is refreshing, the way you use rap to paint your own very unique canvas based on the topic of sleeplessness examined through your original imagination. The content of your lyrics are a lyrical feast, a cooky and inventive combination of philosophical speculation, original wordplay, and personal confession. Your discursive and revealing personal essays in the book are a great addition that skillfully explicate your songs: an admirable example of song insights, while being in themselves profoundly personal testimony that transcends the usual chatter. The insomnia theme, lyrics, book, and music combine cohesively to paint the portrait of a very smart, very imaginative, very unique, very active brain that can't sleep...

...In other words, a highly creative and daring channeling of your artistic gifts and personality. There's a synthesis and originality here in your work as a whole that I don't often see. If anything, it reminds me of some of the work of Baz Luhrmann (especially Moulin Rouge) which paints its own multimedia, multi-faceted world with its own rules in a cohesive and inventive way that is totally unique...

And just like Baz Luhrmann, you succeed in bending the rules and allowing all the artistic uniqueness that is you to come out while still having a presentation that is relatable and, for me, easy to appreciate. Its not craziness, it's well-executed creative eccentricity! And that, my friend, is what makes a work of art brilliant.

Thank you for doing such a fine job of putting the landscape of your imagination on blast for all to experience...
Your efforts are to be admired.

--Chris Goslow
aka CWiggz!

Learn more about Tah at http://tahonline.com/

Rap gets a bad rap...

2010-09-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

I was talking to someone a little while ago who was criticizing rap as an art form, saying that because of the pre-recorded beat, the lack of melody, and the content of the lyrics it wasn't on par with other styles, such as jazz. He said I was turning my back on my musical heritage by being involved with it.

"Actually," I said to him. "I'm not turning my back on my heritage. I'm expanding it."

The truth is, if I had this same conversation as a child, I probably would have agreed with this person. But that was just because I didn't understand rap, and I preferred the music I was raised on, which wasn't rap. But at some point I realized just how strong and undeniable of a cultural force rap is, and I also saw the creative possibilities of rap as a means of expressing myself.

Like it or not, rap is a musical art form just like jazz, or pop, or classical. The art form itself is neutral, but it does arise from a certain place and time, just like any other form of music. The music will survive well after the place and time. People will be listening to contemporary rap in fifty years all over the world, and it will be considered traditional just like we listen to Duke Ellington or Chuck Berry now and think, "that's old school." There are already so many forms of rap done by so many types of people in countries all over the world that it's already becoming a universal medium.

So for someone to say rap is inferior to another musical art form I think misses the point. Is rap inferior in the eyes of a kid who lives in Oakland who has grown up with rap and that’s all he hears? There are people who only listen to rap, and you’re saying that their music is inferior? Not to them! To them it’s where the heart and soul of music really is. They have a loyalty to it because it’s what they know. Criticizing it is like invalidating an entire culture.

All styles were at some point new, they were at some point “radical” and “rebellious” as well. Many people were enraged at the "new-fangled" ways of rock and roll fifty and sixty years ago. And how is that any different than modern criticism of rap? It’s the same phenomenon of judging something that is different as being less than.

Being judgmental is not particularly new. I think it comes from fear of change. And it has ailed humanity for centuries.

Like it or not, rap is here to stay. So stop giving it a bad rap!

Don't worry, you can still have your style of music. It isn't going anywhere.
But neither is rap.

--CWiggz!

Why I Write This Blog aka Life-long Writer Turned Blogger

2010-09-16T09:22:00.000-07:00

You know, I've always been a writer. I remember when I was a kid, about eight or nine, I started writing in a journal at school. And although this was some kind of school assignment, I owned it like it was my journal, and I knew that I was writing for me, because that I knew that was a part of who I was. In fact, I had an almost instinctive knowledge that my words could be carried way beyond me, that others could read them as well, and that they could live on well beyond my life and personal reach, kind of like my own foot imprint in the wet cement of life (to use a colorful metaphor). Even as a young kid, I remember knowing that the written word was, if not eternal, certainly magical in power and in its potential to reach others.

For awhile as an adult, I have taken on writing every single day in the morning when I get up. This activity is known as 'morning pages,' a concept I got from a book I read called "The Artist's Way," by Julia Cameron. I have been doing this regularly for over four years. A little while ago, I had the notion that it would be great to start a writing project where I could reach the world. And so the idea for what would become this blog germinated in the back of my mind, until it finally found expression earlier this year.

Writing this blog has been a very rewarding experience that has allowed me to expand my expression as an artist and reach people in a different way than I ordinarily reach them. It has also at times been extremely revelatory to take on the topics I've taken on, such as personal experiences (actually, it's pretty much all personal experiences I write about!). I've literally come away from writing a blog entry excited that I had realized something about myself that I had never seen before.

And because this is a weekly blog, it has demanded of me a professional commitment to add something every week, like it or not. While this can at times be challenging, it keeps me alert, it forces me to work, because I'm on a deadline, man!

Overall, the blog writing experience has been an adventure that I have truly enjoyed. I would like to thank all of my readers for their enthusiasm and comments about my entries. May this be just the beginning of something fabulous!

Best,

CWiggz!

The New Piano, aka Four-Hundred Pound Monster In My Room...

2010-09-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

My life is a lot heavier now than it was at the beginning of the day yesterday. Four hundred pounds heavier to be exact. The four hundred pounds in question being those of the Yamaha studio upright that is now sitting in my room.
It wasn't there yesterday morning. In fact, in five and a half years and three different rooms I've rented, it's the first time I've ever had a piano live with me.

Yesterday, I spent most of the afternoon waiting the delivery truck to arrive. They had said they would be there between 3-6pm, but the piano movers knocked on my door at roughly 6:30pm. Better late than never. Once they got there, they strolled the piano in, and set it right in the middle of the room against the mantel of the now closed-up, non functioning chimney. A light brown studio upright. It's funny because the piano fits directly over the brick lining of the fireplace, and the mantel is exactly the size of the piano. It provides the perfect frame for the instrument. It's like it was meant to be.

The moment the movers set the piano in place was powerful. My first thought was, "Woah, this visual can make a good album cover."

What also makes this piano special is that it happens to be a piano with some history for me. It's the piano I wrote my first rap song on in 2004. I still remember going to Sherman Clay (a piano store in San Francisco) with my mom to help her pick it out back in 1999. Back in another era, at the beginning of adulthood, before I graduated college, before a lot of things.

And what it was like was, it was like being a heavyweight after all this time being a lightweight. I've had light keyboards in my room, and now I finally have a friggin' real piano!
Now, get what this means to me. I'm a lifelong pianist, trained classical. I always played real pianos. To me, having a real piano is like arriving into the world in a more serious way. It's like buying real boots after you've been wearing flip flops.

And it's also nice to welcome this good friend who has been a part of my past into my present.

Lots of great music shall be made on this thing!

--CWiggz!

Superman, Luke Skywalker, and the Power of Childhood Fantasies

2010-08-31T06:59:00.000-07:00

"I'm not just another great performer with a
Tape recorder and a way with words
Ain't you heard? I got a greater purpose I was made for
I'm a superhero here to save the Earth!"
--From "Superhero" from my upcoming Here He Comes CW

HERO
a : a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with
great strength or ability
b : an illustrious warrior
c : a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities
d : one that shows great courage

Okay, folks. Time to do a little time traveling back to Chris's childhood:

So there I was, a three years old, playing in my neighborhood in Concord, CA, where my family had recently moved, and I was thinking about my wonderful Superman book that I had gotten. It was a full color storybook of Superman, and I would pore over it, envisioning the story of Superman in my head, and fantasizing about the superhero story.

At that moment that I remember thinking, "I want to be Superman!" In fact, at some point I had acquired a Superman cape, and I wore it to the preschool I went to. Unfortunately, the preschool teachers were concerned that I was going to jump off a tree and hurt myself (I think I even got up into a tree!), so they took the cape away.

Skip to another, related memory. My other fantasy was to be a Jedi Knight. A spot weld moment in my childhood was when my dad picked me up from pre-school one day and brought me to see "Return of the Jedi." I still vividly remember watching the scene where the Emperor gets thrown into the shaft by Darth Vader. At one point, when I was about seven, I took a Polaroid of myself holding up a flashlight and drew a light saber blade with a green crayon. I also remember at school repeatedly drawing the scene where Lando Calrissian fights his way out of the Sarlacc pit to avoid the fate of being digested for 1000 years.

You might say that it seems kind of silly to talk about these childhood fantasies. After all, I was probably one of millions of kids who did these kinds of things. Besides, what do Superman and Luke Skywalker have to do with who I am today?

The answer (don't laugh): a lot. These characters sparked real desires in me of how I wanted to live. Because, although I may no longer be fantasizing about wielding a lightsaber, I still have aspirations to live a heroic life. And just like many a kid (or adult for that matter), these stories sparked that desire in me. The characters in these movies inspired me too to want a life that is a fun, rewarding, triumphant adventure just like them.

After all, isn't that in a sense what these fantasies represent? Isn't that what makes stories like these cool in the first place? If you ask a kid why they like Superman, the kid won't say "because it's entertaining." He'll tell you it's because he wants to BE SUPERMAN. I didn't just think Star Wars was entertaining, I wanted to BE A JEDI. Literally.

If you think about it, characters like Superman or Luke Skywalker represent ideal ways of being. These characters don't just serve to entertain, they serve to inspire. You may not actually wear a cape and fly, but you can aim to "save the day," so to speak, in whatever you're doing. You can stop by the side of the road and help someone with a flat tire and be their hero.

And although you may not be able to wield a laser beam as a sword and move objects with your thoughts (or maybe you can, for all I know!), you can practice trusting your intuition. You can develop your mind to be a sort of Jedi Wizard in whatever you do. You can literally eliminate the "Dark Side" of negativity from your life by being a positive person who takes responsibility for it.

The point is, the stories that kids are exposed to are powerful. I think people actually are influenced more than they realize by the childhood fantasies they had. They help shape the people we become. Look to your own life and see if any of this is true.

It's certainly true for mine.

--CWiggz!

A Day in the Life...

2010-08-26T07:10:00.000-07:00

Huuuuuuuummmmm....

That's a white noise sound coming from the computer, which is also producing a periodic light cracking sound. From outside I hear the sound of a car driving by, probably going up the hill. The street I live on is fairly busy throughout the day.

On my desk, in addition to my computer, is an assortment of odds and ends: a couple of magazines (Rolling Stone, and the Discmakers catalog); a pen; my cell phone; an old pair of headphones that is plugged into the computer speakers (you have to adjust the direction of the plug to get sound out of both ears); some mail; the Rush CD my brother-in-law gave me; a couple of Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk ride pics I bought last month when I was there with my family. Oh yeah, and there's the Darth Vader doll I bought recently at Toys R Us. That helps me fight the dark side. Or maybe attract it. I'm not sure which.

Computer clock time: 7:17am. Thursday morning.

When I'm done sitting here for the moment, I put on my jogging clothes and get ready to jog up the hill and to the park that's nearby. I've been making that trek, which is probably about 2.5 miles or so, on a regular basis since moving here. It's definitely good exercise to go up that hill, and it's nice to arrive in nature once I get into the park, which has a lake and swimming hole, as well as a vantage point to look out at a valley of trees between me and the freeway with all the rushing cars. No, I can't entirely escape civilization, but I do look forward to getting up there and having a moment to commune with nature. It clears my mind.

Outside of that, I'm thinking of the events of the day, which include a call I'm having with two other musicians to plan a compilation CD we're working on, a show at an Alzheimer's care center nearby, some calls and e-mails with clients and perspective clients to book gigs, and a probable session in the studio with Allan Samson, my co-producer for my album. Mixed in there will probably be several chats with my girlfriend on the phone. And such is life for me.

Part play, part work, and definitely some enjoyment to give and receive. I can't complain. And it makes me glad to be here today, because sometimes it's the simplest things that matter the most.

--CWiggz!

Forge Your Own Path!

2010-08-21T23:34:00.000-07:00

“CWiggles! A lowdown, shameless white boy
And when he comes for you
There is nothing you can do.
He spells trouble! You better run and hide, boy
You don't know if you want him to,
Here He Comes CW!"

--From “Here He Comes CW” from my album “Here He Comes CW”

I’ve heard all the conventional wisdom. “Make money. Be successful. Get a good job.” And all the messages I see on TV about all the great material possessions that I'm supposed to have, all the people I'm supposed to be like, and all the things that are supposed to be good for me, and all the things that are supposed to be bad for me. Etc Etc.

And of course, I, like everyone else, am influenced to some degree (maybe a large degree) by my culture. From the clothes I wear to the movies I watch, from the news stories I read to what I eat, my life is shaped by the world around me. At the same time, as much as I can, I aim to be inner-directed. I intend to decide for myself what is good for me and what is not, and live accordingly. That's why I work hard to live by personal standards that matter to me, and in this, I maintain my own integrity with myself.

In my living example as an artist and human being, I don't mind interrupting the old notions, the conventional wisdom, the tried and true cliches passed from generation to generation. That's because I'm really interested in being true to myself. I'd like to pass a message to all people that what matters is creating your life to fit you. I believe this is the key to true happiness.

I believe that when you stop trying to gain approval from others and start approving of yourself, you start to become the source of what other people want to be. When you stop trying to get others to like you and start being someone others want to be like, you effortlessly start achieving the results you grabbed so desperately before to attain. Inner confidence, and the willingness to be directed by your inner wisdom, are qualities that great leaders and pioneers possess. These qualities are priceless in value. They are exhibited by people who forge ahead confidently and with faith in creating their own path, though it may sometimes seem strange or incomprehensible to others.

Here's to forging your own path!

--CWiggz!

Feeling the 'Rush' of a Great Drummer, and the Secret that Made it Happen

2010-08-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
Matthew 17:20

It is this past Monday evening. The location is the Shoreline Amphitheater in San Jose. Thanks to my brother-in-law's magic skill of acquiring concert tickets from radio stations, we are at a rock concert, the second concert I've gone to in the last week and a half (the other one was the Scorpions at the Sleep Train Pavilion in Concord, and we were in the FIRST row!). This time we're up in the lawn, and it's great for me to be in the middle of the crowd, seeing what they see, hearing what they hear. It is late in the show, and we're about to leave. We find a new vantage point right near the exit of the amphitheater. That's when my brother-in-law alerts me to pay attention. The sight I see is unforgettable.

Picture this: thousands and thousands of people packing the amphitheater from head to toe, vibing as one man on stage plays the drums for a ten-minute solo. From the edge of the stage all the way to the top of the lawn, all eyes are fixated with appreciation on this man, who plays his drum set with the skill and the passion that seems to bring alive every possible nuance and sound that instrument was made for. The crowd is spell-bound. Tonight's show is over two hours long, and this is the only time of the night where the other two band mates leave the stage. Which means that, as far as the drummer is concerned, the audience is all his.

The man is Neil Peart, drummer for Rush, the band we came out to see. This Canadian band was formed in the 1960s and is still rocking to packed crowds like this to this day.

I couldn't help but ponder the power of this one man commanding so much attention through skill in his instrument. I'm not sure how many thousands of people attended last night's show, but it was a lot. And for that ten minute period, they were only concentrating on him.

You might say, as the guy standing next to us did, 'Neil Peart is the best drummer in the world.' So of course everyone is watching him, right? As if the guy has a secret weapon reserved only for "the best" that is completely unattainable for you and me. But I think it's no secret, and I think it's highly attainable.

Here's my response to that thinking: Neil Peart may be one of the best or "the best" drummer in the world, but how did he get there? By sitting around thinking about it? By being born lucky? You can be filled with confidence and sit in your living room going nowhere. No, it took years of persistence and work, it took playing his heart out again and again. It took belief in himself, and it took surrendering to his passion. It took saying, "Okay, I'm done with doing anything else... playing the drums is what I'm about!" And when you have that kind of commitment, all things are possible.

This guy brought himself inch by inch to that point. While I'm sure it is nothing new to him now to have thousands of people groove to his ten-minute drum solo, there was a time before he was famous when they didn't, I'm sure of it. He had to get to that point. And I'm guessing it didn't happen overnight. It took cultivation. It took persistence. And it took faith.

Which is the real secret. And it brings me back to a point I made in another blog entry, that if you just have a little faith in yourself, you'd be surprised at what is possible. I believe that we're all the best in the world at something. But it takes faith to cultivate that thing, to let it grow and blossom. But if you do let it, you may just find yourself able to move mountains...

Try it. You may be surprised.

Best,

CWiggz!

Taking a Leap of Faith: My Very First Open Mic Performance

2010-08-05T10:12:00.000-07:00

"Everbody's gotta find their own way
Their own place to stay,
Better hope and pray before it's too late."

--From my very first CWiggz! song, "Place to Stay."

I remember it well. Sitting at the table in the dark room. The light from behind the bathroom with all the marker-drawn graffiti. The musty smell of an establishment that had served a lot of alcohol for decades. The dimmed light on the stage. The MC coming up on stage periodically to ask pop culture trivia questions and then offer a beer from the bar to the person who answered correctly. An older woman with messy blonde hair who acted like she had never left the 60s singing, "Everybody's crazy but me!"

I was at the Starry Plough, a restaurant and bar in Berkeley, CA that hosts a Tuesday night open mic every week. I had heard about this place a couple years earlier, while I was a student at UC Berkeley. Now that I had determined to embark publicly upon my new musical adventure as the great CWiggz!, this was the first place that came to mind for me to visit.

After waiting a couple of hours while one singer-songwriter after another performed, I went up there, set up my Casio keyboard, and performed a song I had written three months earlier. The song, "Place to Stay," is essentially about overcoming personal obstacles and being true to yourself, finding your "place to stay." It was my very first rap song.

A girl made a comment that I was sarcastic and intense, noting the line "I'm gonna take this rose and stick it up your nose." This was to be the first of many open mic performances for me.

In my mind, I was experiencing exhilaration. I was excited to be doing my first open mic. It took a complete leap of faith to get up there and perform for everybody.
On the other hand, I was also concerned about being laughed at. After all, I was a college-educated white guy with a classical music education making his debut (albeit boldly) as none other than a rapper. Say what?

Although I looked at the people at the open mic with disdain in a sense, because I perceived them as hobbyists (or drunks!) who weren't really committed to doing music professionally, behind that judgmental attitude, I was simply scared. Because performing your own music for people leaves you vulnerable to that most threatening of things: criticsm.

My strategy: ram through my music like a railroad, as if to say, "Here I am, world! Take me or leave me!" For the next four years, I visited and performed at an open mic nearly every week. Although for a long time I performed with this same attitude, as if so that I could out run my insecurities by steamrolling through them, over time I became progressively more confident. And the experience and learning I got from performing, as well as the relationships I built, were immensely valuable.

--CWiggz!

From Despair to Freedom: the Power of Living Your Truth

2010-07-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."
--From Hamlet by William Shakespeare

My life is rewarding on a daily basis, not only in terms of making money in my art, but also spiritually in terms of the joy of living my purpose and doing what I'm best suited for in this world.

But it wasn't always that way.

Ten years ago, I didn't know what my next step was gonna be. At the time, I was living in complete misery, having chosen to go to a college I didn't want to be at on the other side of the country for reasons that had nothing to do with what I really wanted. I was worn-out by school studies that, while enriching, were endlessly challenging at best and soul-numbingly exhausting at worst. I essentially had no fulfilling social life, although I interacted with a lot of people. This was because I had anxiety issues and all kinds of crazy worries that made it harder for me to be with people while experiencing any real confidence or enjoyment. I was in my head all the time and did not talk to anybody else about what was really going on for me, so I had a distorted perspective on life and on myself. To be perfectly honest, my level of unhappiness was so extreme that I know why people commit suicide. If I didn't believe I was put on Earth for more than just suffering through life, perhaps I would have.

Eventually, this charade got unbearable, and finally, in the Spring of 2000, I dropped out of Vassar College in New York, where I was going at the time, and returned back to the Bay to regroup and, honestly, to recuperate. I had experienced my own personal rock bottom, and though I was intensely depressed and found it hard to enjoy anything at all on a daily basis, I was determined to make things better. The following year, I applied to and got accepted at University of California, Berkeley, where I enrolled in the fall of 2001. Two years later, I graduated from UC Berkeley with honors and a music degree.

Fast forward to now. My life this week alone reflects a completely transformed reality from what it was ten years ago: I have rehearsed with a classically trained singer for an all-classical recital we have next week; performed my own style of hip hop piano music for a public audience; created and performed an original play for a family get together; attended a video release party for a R&B song that is currently on the radio; and performed piano shows at two different Alzheimer's/dementia care centers, one health care center, and one retirement home.

And by now, this is nothing new! Doing awesome things is just my life. I've written original scenes for a teen opera program, and watched my idea fully realized on stage with a full cast two years in a row. I've co-produced a hip hop track that featured an artist who worked with Tupac. I've been to Canada for a songwriting retreat and Los Angeles to see the Grammys. I've received music business mentoring with an music industry expert who worked with the likes of Madonna and George Winston. Recently I've begun working with an image consultant who was once Beyonce to Usher's agent. I worked for nearly two years with an opera singer who personally worked with Aaron Copland and who performed at opera houses in Europe for decades. And in the past year, I've performed nearly one hundred and fifty piano shows for the elderly.

These experiences have demonstrated to me that fulfillment doesn't happen by accident. It comes from choosing what is true. It comes from connecting with what is real inside of you and honoring that always. And although, sometimes it takes going in the complete opposite direction to realize what is not working, once you do find your truth and life from that place, life makes a whole lot more sense, and it becomes a lot more fun.

I know because I've been there.

Best,

CWiggz!

What I did in Fifth Grade aka "A Little Incentive Can Go A Long Way"

2010-07-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

"I'm a man made brand name
Flaunting a large brain
Intellectual satirist just call me
Mark Twain."
--From "My Song and Dance" from my upcoming album Here He Comes CW

When I was a child I had the most amazing teacher. His name was Bob, and one of the thing Bob gave all of us in his class the chance to do was share what we were reading with the class. When we did that, he would record in his binder the book name, the date, and the number of pages we read. Bob was a reader and encouraged us all to be readers as well.

In fifth grade, Bob lent me a set of books. He said to me, "If you read these books, Chris, you can keep them." The books were the Narnia Chronicles.

I read the books.

At first, my attitude was anything but inspired. I thought to myself, "Well, even if this is a bit of a chore, I'm gonna do this." At the time, I wasn't a huge reader, but I had certainly showed an interest in reading fiction. I just hadn't taken on such an ambitious reading project before. I set upon these books with a sort of professional dedication, with not so much a desire to learn the story and see what happened, but a commitment to finish the job.

In case you didn't know, the Narnia Chronicles is a series of seven fantasy novels that create one uber story, sort of like the J.R.R. Tolkien "Lord of the Rings" series, or like the more recent "Harry Potter" books. At the time, reading the books was sort of like climbing a mountain. I did it for the challenge.

The first book was sort of like proving I was up to the challenge. "The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe" was a good story, yet my mindset was kind of like an aspiring athlete getting onto the race track and showing he can run. The second book, "Prince Caspian," was sort of similiar: I was still proving I could do it.

But then something magical happened when I read the third book, "Voyage of the Dawn Treader." No longer was I simply proving that I could do this. Novel reading become something exciting, rather than being simply a rite of passage. I was really digging this stuff! This amazing story about a couple of English kids who end up on a magical ship, with a talking mouse and the various adventures they go on.... wow!

And this set the tone for the rest of the series. Because I got through the initial hurdle of resistance, I got to the place of enjoyment. All of a sudden, I became a reader. For the next two years, I progressively read more and more novels. I read the Wizard of OZ books, I read various Newbury medal winners such as "The Wrinkle in Time" (which was the first in a series of books that I also read) and "The Hatchet." I read Roald Dahl's stories. I got into the Redwall series by Brian Jacques.

And as my attention shifted to "grown up" books, I read and devoured Michael Crichton's books, starting with "Jurassic Park" and after that including "The Sphere," "The Congo," and others. I also got into Timothy Zahn's "Star Wars" trilogy. I read John Grisham's legal thrillers, and Dean Koontz's horror thrillers.

When I was in seventh grade another student in my class introduced me to Stephen King. And at that point I pretty much became an addict, reading nearly everything he had written (which at the time was over thirty novels). My novel reading streak really reached a high point that year, when my teacher recorded that I read over seven thousand pages(!).

And it all started with Bob's offer to give me a set of books if I read them. A little incentive can go a long way. Because I took on and completed this challenge, I gained confidence, because I knew I would finish any book I started, and from there, my reading career took off. A happy by-product of this was enjoyment and the incredible stirring of my imagination with each new story, as well as a sense of pride that I could do something that I knew was worthwhile but hadn't been immediately easy for me.

Thinking back on this now, I am so glad that I had the instinct to read those Narnia books. It taught me the incredible joy that is on the other side of stick-to-it-iveness. The benefit of that experience is still with me today. Because whether I'm reading a book or finishing a full-length album, the same concept applies. Finish what you start. It's where incredible rewards lie.

Thanks for reading.

Best,

CWiggz!

Riches From Within (Part 1)

2010-07-14T17:25:00.001-07:00

"Attuned to the music it's truly like praying
it keeps me grounded, I'm astounded..."

--From "Here Upon the Keys" from my new album Here He Comes CW

In my young music career, I can't exactly say that I've earned a ton of money so far. There are plenty of other people who have earned more. Yet what I do for a living, and the plans I have at work, are so rich, and give me so much back, that I feel as if I am truly rich. In fact, I feel as if I am one of the lucky people on this planet who is blessed to do something he loves doing.

Today I played a piano show at an Alzheimer's center near where I live. The occasion was a family day where the family of the residents came in and visited with their family member. I hadn't met all of these visitors, but I was quite familiar with the residents they came to visit. That is because I have performed weekly at this particular care center for nearly a year (the first performance i gave there was on July 22nd of last year). This is in fact the first elder care center where I performed (and I have given nearly 150 performances at retirement homes and Alzheimer's centers all over the Bay Area since then). Also, since my grandmother had Alzheimer's before she died, this type of center is important to me personally. I have sort of adopted it is my home base (which is also pretty easy because i live five minutes away from it!).

Playing this show filled me up in ways that go beyond making money (although I was also paid), and lots of great memories fill my mind with satisfaction right now as I think about it. For example, the delighted attention of the audience (residents, family members, and staff) as I improvised a boogie woogie. The pleasure of having one visitor say how lucky she felt that she could sit up and close and listen without having to pay for it. The sweetness of playing a mellow song while one of the staff members danced with a resident. The joy of dressing up in a tux for a crowd that feels complimented to even be considered worthy of dressing up in a tux for. Oh yeah. And the sense that I was serving a purpose greater than myself, a purpose that I was born to fulfill, by giving of my talents to this exceptional group of people who are too often overlooked by the rest of society.

This richness fills me, fuels me, and satisfies me. And I believe it is the basis for me to create the prosperity that I desire. Because I believe true prosperity comes from aligning me using my best talents and strongest passions in service to the world. And when I do that, I feel freaking rich! And the money follows!

This is truly a beautiful thing.

Best,

CWiggz!

Live a Great Life, Fight the Demon of Resignation!

2010-07-06T07:04:00.000-07:00

"Bolden Up, Mouse, everyday
End this rut, get out of your way
Strut your stuff and celebrate
So what are you waiting for?"

--From "Bolden Up Mouse" in my new album Here He Comes CW

This post is dedicated to all people who have suffered the crippling effects of resignation, that state of forfeiting one's own power and believing there's no point in trying to change things for the better.

As an artist, I aim to be a role model who can inspire other people to be who they want to be. This is from a desire to make a difference. It's also because I know what it's like to unhappy and confused, going through life out of sync with myself. There was a time awhile ago when I was metaphorically "out at sea," as I called it, because I was not listening to my own desires. I was too busy trying to please others and reacting to life, and not busy enough staying tuned in with myself. It took me nearly reaching a breaking point where I couldn't stand who I was anymore to turn things around. Ever since that point I have been building, from scratch, a life that is satisfying and fulfilling. It has been a truly joyous journey, and looking at my life today I see the product of the choice to make my life work.

What I suffered from so long are the effects of what I now think of as resignation. As Webster's Dictionary defines it, to resign is to "give oneself over without resistance; to give up deliberately; to quit." Although I didn't know it at the time, the way I was living completely lacked honesty, as I was forfeiting my power to act on what I wanted and sort of letting life happen to me. I was like a zombie allowing the alien-monster to take over my brain and do it's will.

Now that I can see what was going on for me, I realize that this resignation occurred in every area where I stopped taking responsibility for making things work. And that was pretty much in every area! It is as if I was a basketball player playing my game but getting so distracted thinking I was going to mess up that I didn't take any shots, didn't dribble the ball, and didn't contribute to helping the team win. As a result of that behavior, I sit there on the bench afterward being miserable, but I don't do anything to change my behavior and have to live with the unsatisfying results as if I couldn't do it any different.

This behavior is all to common. Every time a person quits on something that is important to them, they invite the ugly beast of resignation to take over. It is as if we are giving up the power to sail our metaphorical ship, letting a four-eyed green monster take over and do the only thing it really wants to do: sink it! The vile influence of resignation is completely contrary to having any of the things you want in life.

That is why it is critical to fight resignation! To do that, first, you must believe that you can make things better. Second, you must take action to do so. Fighting resignation is like being on the basketball court saying to yourself, "I know I can help my team," and taking the shots, getting aggressive, and playing the game like you know you can win it. It means fighting for what you want! And then the results that come from it will blow resignation out of the water and leave you with undeniable proof that you didn't need that unwelcome visitor in the first place. Because it is always worth it to play the game rather than quitting.

The choice to combat resignation can literally save your life from misery. I speak from first hand experience. So the next time you find yourself thinking that all is lost, that there's no point in acting, consider asking yourself this, "What would I do if I believed I could have what I want in this situation?" And also this great question: "What would I do right now if I was fully empowered and confident?" And let the voice of resignation fade away into the background forever.

Here's to living a great life of satisfaction and joy!

Yours Truly,

CWiggz!

WATCH THIS RECENT LIVE VIDEO OF ME PERFORMING MY SONG "HERE HE COMES CW" (WITH SINGER CALLIE WATTS):

Have a Little Faith In Yourself

2010-06-30T07:24:00.001-07:00

"'What's that scent coming from your desk that the
ventilation won't clear up?'
That's the scent of confidence. Breathe it in.
It'll make you cheer up!"
--From "Here He Comes CW" from my new album Here He Comes CW

I admit it, there have been times when my confidence has been tested. As fun as it is to take on a new endeavor like I have with this whole CWiggz! adventure, it's not always easy. Sometimes, things happen that make me look in the mirror and see just how much I really believe in myself. These are the times when the cosmic voice from within seems to be asking me, "What are you really made of, sonny?"

A couple of years ago I lost a working relationship with someone who had been very important to me. Prior to an ugly incident that resulted in him cutting off contact with me, I prided myself on having this man's trust, and was really counting on that relationship to help me in my career. But unfortunately, life said otherwise, and all of a sudden I could no longer work with this person. Despite the enormous pain this situation caused for me, I made a determination then and there that I was going to be bigger than it, that I was going to rise above it and triumph. Over these last couple of years I have consciously moved forward DESPITE the deep frustration of this experience, and it has taught me that no matter what happens, I always have the choice to keep going.

Situations like that will come up, and each time it takes determination to move past it. Just a few days ago I had an encounter with someone who said some mean things about me via e-mail. And for a moment there, I was confronted with this doubting voice in my head that said, "Maybe he's right. Maybe I am no good." But it didn't take me very long to realize that thinking like that was a path leading to nowhere, and that I'm not willing to settle for going down the road of self doubt. So I quickly turned it around the best I could by standing my ground. Now I look at an incident like this as a test yet again to see if I really have the confidence it takes to succeed.

And now, as I prepare to release my album, I am facing possibly the hardest test of my self confidence I have so far had to face. I am getting ready to let the entire world see this creation of mine that I have worked day after day on, week after week on, year after year on (!). I am literally giving my creation up to the opinion of the world. Is that scary? Definitely. Does that require me to face every little demonic voice that is talking to me negatively? Absolutely. Am I planning to let this stop me? No fricking way!

Because I know that this is just part of the adventure. I knew this when I signed up for it, back in 2004 when I first decided to do this album, back when it took me literally six months to get over the fear and embarrassment I felt over even having the idea of rapping. I knew this, even when it took me nearly four years of performing at open mics before I could let my guard down enough to listen to what other people had to say. Even when I was so susceptible to my own fear of criticism that I had to shut out people for awhile, even when I thought I had to get on stage with the mindset of a railroad (I'm gonna ram my stuff through, and ain't no one gonna stop me!), even then I knew that facing and conquering my own negativity was part of this game, a rite of passage I would have to go through. And now I believe I have created a foundation of confidence that will get me through life's challenges, because it is always within my power to continue having faith in myself.

Thanks for reading. I hope this posting makes a difference for you the next time something in life happens to challenge your self confidence. Because, believe me, it will happen.

Have a little faith in yourself.

Best,

CWiggz!

CWiggz! has a recovery of his own...

2010-06-20T23:57:00.000-07:00

"I'm listening through strength and hardship
I stand before you a grateful artist
Guide me so I face this cosmic power
May I take the target!"

--From "Superhero" from my upcoming album Here He Comes CW

It is 11:57pm on Sunday night, as I sit here before my computer typing, Father's Day 2010 draws to a close. Thoughts whiz through my mind, because it seems to me that now is quite an extraordinary meeting of events. First of all, because it's Father's Day. I spent the day with my dad, and we had a great discussion about art. I came out of that conversation with a real sense of satisfaction, because of connecting with my dad, and also because of knowing the positive place I've taken my life and music career.

Secondly, tomorrow, which will begin in two minutes, is the official release date of Eminem's new album "Recovery." And it occurs to me that Eminem is for me a sort of unofficial artistic "father" (so are Beethoven and Billy Joel and Brad Roberts from Crash Test Dummies). It was a special arrangement of events that resulted in me sneaking (yes, sneaking, I had bought a ticket to another movie) into the crowded theater in Berkeley, California, to watch "8-Mile" back in 2002. That was special, because I walked out of that movie with a vision for the first time in my life of me rapping. In fact, I consider June 14, 2004 my sort of unofficial birthday, because it was on that day when I really declared my intention to get my life together so that I could be a successful recording artist, with rap as a focal driving point. That commitment has spurred me on in the past six years ago to make a full-time living doing music, and to create a life that I am proud to call my own.

Undoubtedly, Eminem is in no way the perfect role model of a father. But it seems to me that he sort of the quintessential "struggling father" in our modern society. He raps about it in several of his songs "When I'm Gone," "Mockingbird," "Hailie's Song." In the song "Say Goodbye to Hollywood" from The Eminem Show, he even says, while lamenting the stresses of being famous, "All I wanted to do was give Hailie [his daughter] the life I never had." Very often in his music, while he is discussing some sort of personal struggle, he expresses his love and commitment for her and his other two adopted daughters.

Today I'm going to buy Recovery. I'll listen to the whole thing from start to finish, soaking it in. As I write this, I'm thinking about the last ten years of my life, which have been a sort of recovery for me as well. Ten years ago I was anxious and depressed, lonely and confused, having recently dropped out of college in the East Coast and knowing that I had hit rock bottom (which is also the name of an earlier Eminem song), and that I was determined to get out, but I didn't know what that would look like. And I certainly didn't know the direction my musical inspiration would take me by bringing me to rap.

But I stand here now, "unafraid" and in a healthier place than I have ever been, stronger in all ways than ever before, and I am excited by what awaits me, a little like I'm excited to hear the album later on. But this excitement is bigger because it is the excitement that I am here in my life and I am strong and I am ready to create what I came here to create!

So here's to all our fathers, all our inspirations, and all the men who have influenced us in someway whether directly or from afar. And here's to your and my ongoing "recovery" from what ails us. May you be happy, healthy, and fully alive!

Best,

CWiggz!

THANKS FOR BEING PATIENT, "HERE HE COMES CW" IS ON ITS WAY! WWW.CWIGGZ.COM

"Thank You" --The most important words you'll ever say.

2010-06-14T10:01:00.000-07:00

"I'm a fool of the music, choosing to express the music
that gets me through the restlessness and ends the confusion.
When I'm stewing I find solace in this embrace,
the sounds the keys make. The harmonies, that vibrate
down deep to my core. Whenever I'm reading the score,
I know what it's like to weep for the Lord."
--From "Here Upon the Keys" from my upcoming album Here He Comes CW

Last weekend I played piano for a charity event that raised money for two organizations that are helping people in Kenya by educating children and training new entrepreneurs. After playing for about an hour and a half while people arrived, I listened to a man from one of these organizations talk about the impoverished conditions that most Kenyans face, the staggeringly high percentage of them who are infected with AIDS/HIV, and the limited opportunity they have to gain an education and to be successful in the world. Listening to this talk was both upsetting and eye opening, because it reminded me of just how good I have it.

Because let's be honest: we really have a lot to be grateful for! Every day you and I enjoy the luxury of living in a basically orderly and abundant culture. I turn my faucet on and I have running water. I turn my light switch on and I have electricity. I turn the computer on and I have the internet and can write this blog. I go to the gas station and buy relatively affordable gas (not $7 per gallon like in some countries!), and I look in the Yellow Pages and can find hundreds (no, thousands!) of affordable choices for where I can go for fun, where I can shop, where I can dine, where I can get my clothes dry cleaned, where I can go on vacation, etc. The last time I checked, my income level is not considered "upper class," yet relative to many, many people on this Earth, I AM upper class. For some people, being upper class means having enough to eat!

And it just reminds me to say those magic words: "Thank you." To be grateful for all the good things, because they are not things I take for granted. I am grateful to be alive in this country today, to be afforded the opportunity to live in a culture where I can pursue my dreams of being an artist AND get by! I feel so freakin' rich!

And the same probably goes for you, too, as you read this blog. You might not always think you got it good, but take a look around. You don't have to look very far to realize just how good you got it. You could be a Kenyan whose entire family died of AIDS or Malaria while see no opportunity, no jobs, and no good prospects to live a happy, healthy life.

So let's be grateful for all the good around us. And let's also be compassionate to others who experience the crippingly adverse circumstances of extreme poverty. Abundance and well being is all around us, if we just have the eyes with which to see it. And I know no other way that is quite as effective as seeing through the eyes of gratitude.

By the way, what are you grateful for?

Best,

CWiggz!

P.S. If you want to learn more about the organization the man I mentioned is from, here is the link to it: www.kr-foundation.org.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR "HERE HE COMES CW," THE UPCOMING MUSICAL RELEASE BY CWIGGZ!

The 90s alternative rock singer who helped shape CWiggz! aka "Who Woulda Thought?"

2010-06-09T10:04:00.000-07:00

"I'm a man made brand name flaunting a large brain
Intellectual satirist just call me Mark Twain
I'm arcane, meaning that I'm mysterious
The penny arcade that the kids take serious."

--From "My Song and Dance," a new song from my album Here He Comes CW, and a lyric arguably influenced by Crash Test Dummies front man Brad Roberts.

It's Monday night, and I'm standing to the left of the stage. Three people are on stage performing, a guitarist, a male lead singer, and a female singer. I look around me and see the room relatively crowded with people standing to attend. The room is dark except for the stage. The musky smell of an old San Francisco restaurant that has seen years and years of beer drinking fills the air. Buzzing in all of our ears are the songs, jokes, and banter, of the last seventy minutes of this set that we came out to see. The mood is delighted and grateful. The focal point of the evening is stocky figure of this band's lead singer. The band is Crash Test Dummies, a band I've been a true fan of since 1994. The lead singer is Brad Roberts.

Just a moment prior to this I had been on the other side of the stage, but I knew that if I was going to have a chance, this was going to be it. This was the side of the stage the band was entering and exiting on. Brad evidently made a point of disappearing whenever he wasn't playing, as was evidenced by the fact that he had left the stage whenever Elled Reid, the female singer, sang. Also, he hadn't appeared on stage until the moment he started to sing. So I knew that if I was going to get a chance to meet him, it was going to have to be quick, and I was going to have to be aggressive.

I was. The moment he got off stage I put my hand out and said, "Thank you, Brad!" I kept saying that until he took my hand, then I said. "Thanks for all the music. I just want you to know that your first album is so amazing, that I have often thought that if I could do something as good as that album, it would be awesome." And he took that in before scrambling backstage. "Sounds like high praise," he said, and then he was gone, after signing his autograph for my brother-in-law.

At that point, my night was complete, I was satisfied. I had met one of my musical idols of childhood. But this post isn't just about meeting a childhood role model. It's about what it was about him that compelled me to have to meet him. It's about what made him his own form of rock star, and someone that I continue to admire and learn from.

I learned a lot simply by watching him live. First of all, this man is part-musician, part-comedian. He nearly spent as much time talking as he did singing! He was also endearingly honest and real with us. For example, he explained how he renamed one of the new songs from his album "And it's Beautiful" because the title "Beautiful" would likely lose him some royalties checks. He talked about a girlfriend he had, and how bad of an experience it was, but how great it was because he got some great songs out of it. He also explained how he didn't have any CDs because "my wife didn't send them," and later he took some flack from people in the audience for blaming her, and he said, "I can blame her because she's not here!" It was really like a stand up routine, with many good songs thrown in there. The respect the audience had for this man, who had made a couple hits back in the 90s that made the band "relatively rich and relatively famous," as he said, was palpable.

And there was a certain quality of how this front man carried himself. It's what my brother-in-law called being "uncompromising." It's the quality of unedited self-expression. This man did things HIS way. He wrote the songs HE wanted to write, whether they went over well or not. Even though his band's popularity waned, probably due to the direction he took with releases that were so different from his first two albums that it alienated some of his prior fans (including me!); yet, I don't see the slightest hint of regret. I see a songwriter who defines his own turf, and sticks to it, no matter the consequences.

I respect that. Not to mention, I respect his confident, balsy, unabashed personal style talking on stage. The guy didn't seem to care what people thought of him.

And given all that, I have to tip my had to this man. And tt was very satisfying for me to study up close and personal what it is about this artist that has inspired me so much.

And it just makes me think, what are the qualities of the leaders we admire? What is it about them that makes them so appealing, so inspirational? And after seeing Brad Roberts, I'm thinking that perhaps it's that strength, that willingness to stand alone and be themselves, to take a stand in whatever way is important to them, and not care what people think. That's certainly what I saw on stage that night.

And by the way, what about your role models? What makes them so appealing and unforgettable?

Thanks,

CWiggz!

HEY, DID YOU KNOW? MY RECENTLY UPDATED CWIGGZ.COM PAGE HAS TWO RECORDINGS FROM MY UPCOMING ALBUM "HERE HE COMES CW" FOR YOU TO LISTEN TO RIGHT NOW. SO TAKE A STOP THERE, AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! JUST SEND ME AN E-MAIL AT CHRIS@CWIGGZ.COM.

Childish Adventures and the Creative Urge

2010-05-31T12:57:00.000-07:00

"They say I'm a freak, cuz I jot a rhyme for every
Day of the week, I cut and paste on phrase with another
Phrase and say this is sweet, that's the way I proceed
with my creativity."
From "Three Ring Notebook" on my upcoming album 'Here He Comes CW"

When I was seven years old I sat at my desk at school with my friend Jeremy and we drew pictures of things we wanted to create. I remember drawing a plane, and saying, "We're gonna make this," and thinking excitedly about how we were going to construct this plane and all the adventures we were going to have after we did.

In the course of these occasions, sitting at our desk in my grade school classroom, our plans became more and more elaborate and fantastical. At one point, he and I had decided we were going to run away from home and go on adventures. I had started a series of stories I had written called "Kids," about two kids who perpetually went off on adventures, and I guess it was this that inspired that thought. At last, we had decided on a date. After all, we lived only a couple miles away. I remember discussing it on the phone with him. "Okay, we're gonna meet at night, and then we're gonna run off and have adventures." It was official. We were doing it.

And like so many childish whims, that night came and went, and we slept through it without meeting up and running away . "Man!" My little boy said to himself, disappointed in a sense that I did not follow through, despite the impracticality of such a plan. "I guess I didn't really mean business." That was the end of that.

But it really wasn't the end of that. I may not have been serious about running away from home as a child to go have adventures, but I was serious about that adventurous spirit that perpetually came up with ideas and wanted to try them out. That creative spirit is in me every single day, and whether I'm sitting at the piano with the recorder on or playing a piano show, or writing down rhymes, I'm motivated by a continual curiosity to find out what would happen if...

This is the creative urge, always exploring, always trying. It's what my girlfriend calls being "creatively insatiable." I call it being an artist.

When I embarked on this album project for what would become "Here He Comes CW," I had the same creative urge, this intense desire to produce something from the ether, to extract an idea and make it reality. The idea was, "I'm gonna make a rap album." That's like the seven year old saying, "I'm gonna make a plane!"

When people listen to their creative urges, all kinds of unusual things happen. The adventure STARTS when you listen, when you tune in, and when you sit down and take that pen out and start writing, or start typing that idea out on the computer. It's when you begin to start letting yourself follow that tug down the rabbit hole and see it where it goes... that's when all the fun starts.

Here's to all your adventures following the rabbit hole!

Best,

CWiggz!

LOOK OUT FOR THE "HERE HE COMES CW" COMING SOON!

"Here He Comes the Perfectionist" aka "When will I let myself finish?"

2010-05-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

"If it's not yet good I rewrite the whole set
You bet I strive to get this to shine
So the audience'll be impressed
My quest to invent the finest lines you'll ever find in the West."

--From "Three Ring Notebook" in my new album "Here He Comes CW"

I admit it. I'm a perfectionist. It's this quality that has me excel in anything I set my mind to, and at the same time, it can be a burden as well as a joy. Picture this: me as a ten year old, sitting at my desk where I have spent literally the last two hours writing a research paper, and I'm not yet done, and I won't be done for another three hours, and I don't MOVE from the chair, because I haven't finished yet. I remember one time literally passing up going outside and playing with my brother and best friend, because I just HAD to make the paper perfect. Even as early as fourth grade, I remember having a certain trembling awe with the process of writing, as well as a FEAR of not doing a good job, that motivated me to keep at it, sometimes TO THE POINT OF OBSESSION.

Take junior year of high school. I was an obsessed study demon once I started my AP US History Class. I worked sometimes seven or eight hours a day, reading the material, and writing the assignments. In fact, I worked myself sick, literally... I got myself walking pneumonia and had to go to the hospital!

Fortunately, now I'm much more mature and wiser about this. Er... um...

I wish.

As I continuously and perpetually evolve my album, always changing, always perfecting, I am reminded of this tendency to not let myself be done. That's why this album has been six years coming. And believe me, when it comes out a little later this year, it's gonna be worth the wait... IF I can let myself complete the darn thing! I have to admit how much I am trying to do the PERFECT album. Never mind that I can finish it and perfect the next one. No! THIS one has got to be perfect!

There's only one problem. It's not gonna be! It'll never be perfect! I'll always have more I can do with it. In this sense, I'm doomed to never finish, UNTIL I just draw the line and say, "This is it! It's done!"

Now it's time to say "It's done." And as I draw the line, as I wrap things up on recording, I can see the perfectionist in me struggling, complaining, resisting, saying, "No! If you'll give me just one more day to go, I got this one thing to work on!"

Yeah. I've heard that one before. Like the other four thousand times I said that to myself, instead of just finishing.

Have you ever had this experience? Holla if you feel me!

Best,

CWiggz!

LOOK OUT FOR "HERE HE COMES CW," THE MUCH ANTICIPATED DEBUT ALBUM FROM YOURS TRULY

"Really Chris, why this rap thing, anyway?" aka Guided by Inspirations

2010-05-21T07:22:00.000-07:00

"If I truly was born with this gift
Then for sometime it lay dormant within
Until one day it just burst forth in a
great outpouring of verse.
And thenceforth I kept the door open and
let the words pour to fill my cup and satisfy my thirst."

--from "Three Ring Notebook" on my new album "Here He Comes CW."

Let's do a little time traveling for a moment: it is circa 1991. Pleasant Hill, California. Valhalla Elementary School, where I am attending the APPLE program, which stands for "Alternative Program Providing Learning Experiences." I am at recess, which to me means fun and games, playing usually one of three games with the other boys in my class: kickball, basketball, or football.

All of a sudden my childhood world is disrupted when I hear the foreign sounds of a beat and a voice speaking in quick rhythm coming from a stereo. To me it is strange, and I think to myself, "Where's the melody? That's not music!" And for some reason that is completely impossible for me to understand, my best friend Jeremy LIKES this noise. He thinks it's cool, I am immediately annoyed and feel left out, because to my ears, this stuff is completely unappealing. "Who would want to listen to this?" I think to myself. "Not me! Just let me listen to my show tunes. Let me listen to Oklahoma. And Billy Joel and Madonna and Star Wars. Something you can hum along to. I don't want to have anything to do with that rap stuff." Add a "c" to the last word and you pretty much know what I thought of the subject at the time.

And that was my introduction to hip hop.

Fast forward to 2010. How times have changed. Last night I went to a friend's show, and several people recognized me from the songwriter showcase I performed at a couple of weeks ago. There I performed two of my songs from my upcoming album "Here He Comes CW." People who saw me in full on rap mode playfully refer to me as "CW" or "CWiggles." To them, this is just who I am. I'm an artist who plays piano and raps. Little do they know that as I child I would have cringed, not believing it.

So why did I get into this rap stuff anyway? All I can say is, life has an odd way of working out. I couldn't have anticipated ten years ago that I would be taking this musical path now, but I am grateful for it. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the inspiration to rap gave me a focus and a direction that I had been searching for. Prior to it, I was a pianist without a voice. I wanted one, but I didn't know what it would be. When I found it, suddenly I was a man on a mission! The moment I decided to do a rap album, my adult life began, and I had something to work for, something to build a life around.

And what I take from this experience is that in life good things can come from unexpected places. You just don't know where you'll hit upon something that really matters to you, that really makes all the difference on your original path. Yet if you're open to what life offers, it'll be an amazing adventure that continues to grow and expand with no end in sight. That's what I'm experiencing today, because I was open and willing to let my inspirations guide me.

By the way, what are the unexpected paths your life could take if you would only let your inspirations guide you?

Thanks for reading.

Sincerely,

CWiggz!

MY DEBUT ALBUM IS ON ITS WAY, SO KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN, BECAUSE "HERE HE COMES CW" !

The Spirit of Generosity aka Playing Piano for the Elderly

2010-05-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

"I'm a fool of the music, choosing to express the music
That gets me through the restlessness and ends the confusion."

--From "Here Upon the Keys" from my upcoming album Here He Comes CW.

SQUEAK! ...Goes the sound of the smoke detector up on the wall above the double doors coming into my room. I'm still getting used to that, as I never heard it before yesterday. My landlord was here a couple of times yesterday, so I am wondering if he turned it on for the first time then. I suppose it's something I can live with, although it is a little odd, the periodic sound like a mouse's squeak got recorded and then blasted through an amplifier on the ceiling. [Note: since posting this I have learned that the sound is due to the smoke detector battery being low, which probably is obvious to some people, but which wasn't to me. Lol]

My computer clock reads 7:31am. Since moving to my new room here in Hayward at the border of Castro Valley in the Bay Area, California, I have been more prone than ever to get up at 7:00am during the week, as a conscious choice to make use of my mornings.

Note I said conscious choice. I didn't say, "Because I gotta go to work." My work schedule no longer works like that, meaning, I don't have a nine to fiver that supports me financially. Therefore, I typically get to organize my weekday mornings the way I want to now. And this to me is a wonderful thing.

It is especially wonderful and I feel blessed because of HOW I am working. Nowadays I have been doing more and more work through one principal activity that rewards me not only financially, but spiritually and artistically as well: Retirement community and Alzheimer's Care piano shows. As of this writing, I have done ninety-one (that's 91) piano shows since July of last year, and eighty-six (86) have been for seniors. And by the end of the week I will have done four more shows for seniors, and two other shows, to make a grand total of ninety seven shows! No other statistic speaks to me more clearly of this new life that I am creating, one based on musical expression and performance as I have always dreamed of. This is truly a dream come true, and a dream made manifest from a thought back when I was in high school and visualized myself giving piano performances.

Performing for seniors is particularly satisfying because I am playing for a group of people who appreciate what I have to offer like perhaps no other group can. These are people yearning for connection, for experience, like a potted plant that sits in the corner of a house yearning for water. (Pause to water the plant my mom gave me a couple of weeks ago).

I get to give generously to people who in some cases can't be reached by normal means of communication. I have never experienced myself like this before. I frequently play at two Alzheimer's and Dementia care centers in Castro Valley, and some of these individuals are unable of communicating in an everyday fashion. Yet I know that my piano playing reaches them, it speaks to them, just as it did to my Grandmother when she had Alzheimer's before she died. And I hope that it brightens their day, makes their time here on earth healthier and cheerier. I like to think that my performances positively affect these communities as a whole, leaving a smile on the faces not only of the elderly but of the staff that takes care of them, and of the families that visit them.

Since last July, when I started performing these shows, I have reached hundreds of people in a variety of communities. These are people who have lived complete lives and are now, through either their own choice or the choice of loved ones, spending the remainder of their days in these communities set apart from the rest of society. Yet they are no different than the rest of us, and they appreciate an enlivening experience, an enlivening music performance. And I'm happy to oblige them and hopefully make their day a little better.

By the way, whose day are you making better today?

Sincerely,

CWiggz!

Look out for my debut album coming soon, the much anticipated, most original "Here He Comes CW."

"Never Tell Me The Odds" aka My Journey Into Rap

2010-04-23T03:10:00.000-07:00

The clock on my computer says 3:14am. I'm sitting here in my new room with my headphones on listening to the latest recordings from my new album "Here He Comes CW" as I type. Various punchlines and rhymes blast into my ears, mixed with piano solos and what my girlfriend and dad say are catchy hooks. I know I "should" be going to sleep, yet the urge to capture something in a blog keeps me going. That and the decision I made to stay up so that I can work on my paper on digital file sharing for my business law class. But of course, I stopped doing that an hour ago so I could drift off into fantasy land as I dream about being a successful rap artist.

Which might seem kind of crazy if you had known me fifteen years ago, or ten, or even seven. Back at that time, I was a classical pianist (which I still am), and although I was a diligent scholar and writer for class assignments, I didn't write lyrics much, much less rap. And since I had made a decision as a kid that I didn't like rap because it was so unmelodic and unappealing to my ears (or was it because I was jealous that my friend Jeremy liked it so much and I felt left out?), I never listened to rap. In fact, from 1995-2000, I can honestly say I didn't listen to much of anything but classical music. Not to mention that I was generally a somewhat nerdy, somewhat sheltered, as well as overly educated, middle-class white guy in his twenties who spent most of his time in his head. All in all, the odds would seem very small that I would be on releasing a full-scale debut hip hop album complete with booty-shaking beats, bold lyrics, singing girls... and my own personal swagger.

Yeah, the odds would seem very small indeed.

But then again, I think Han Solo said it best when he said, "Never tell me the odds."

Because, I made up my mind six years ago that I was going to do a rap album. And not just "a" rap album, but a kick ass, earth shaking, GROUNDBREAKING album (at least, that's what I think it is!) that I could truly be proud of. Yeah! Yours truly. The guy who used to sit in the practice room for hours playing the piano. The guy who used to lock himself up in the college library until the wee hours of the morning reading old history books for his research paper. That same guy is now co-producing hip hop tracks featuring artists such as The Next Level, Richie Rich, and Matt Blaque! Just today I took part in a CD release party/artistic gathering with the likes of Big Rich and Mugzie (E-40's brother), and over the sound system was blasting music that I had created!

Ya think I would be doing that if I had listened to the odds?

Yours Truly,

CWiggz!

Another artist who believes in himself

Be on the lookout for my debut album "Here He Comes CW"! www.cwiggz.com

It's Your Birthday, It's Your Birthday... aka Walk It Up

2010-04-22T07:48:00.001-07:00

It is just before 8am on a Thursday morning, and I am sitting at my office desk in my bedroom slash office, a former living room now converted into my living space, in Hayward, California. I look behind me and on the ground I see unsorted boxes, bags and paraphanelia sitting on the floor. My laundry detergent sits next to my hiking boots, which sits next to a sleeping bag. I hear the sound of cars rushing by outside, which is still a relatively new sound for me, although I am now getting used to it and don't mind it like I thought I might. The house air system starts up in the hallway, booms for about two minutes, then stops. I still haven't figured out if it is supposed to be dispensing heat or not, since when I walked over to it, I didn't feel any warm air coming out of it. It seems as if just likes to unleash periodic torrents of white noise.

Although I have been in my new room for only a couple of days, I am already well situated here. And since this room is roughly twice the size as my old room for nearly the same rent, I'm a happy camper. Or renter. I am especially happy to be in my new quarters on this special occasion, my thirtieth birthday.

Now, turning thirty probably means a lot of things to a lot of different people, but for me, I think of turning thirty like a striving basketball player thinks looking up at the clock during the game. He sees that the first quarter of the game is just about to finish, and although he has scored some points already, he knows he can do better, and he is eager to achieve the level of championship play that he knows he's capable of.

Because for me, turning thirty means this: TIME TO DO WHAT I CAME HERE TO DO. I've made it this far, and now it's time to use this moment, the now, to my advantage, because the clock is ticking. I think of time as a reminder to PLAY THE GAME that I've set out to play.

And that game in my case is about making music, it's about taking strides in my music career, it's about finishing up my CWiggz! debut album "Here He Comes CW." It's about something as simple as waking up in the morning when my alarm clock goes off EVEN though I don't have any appointments with anyone else until later and sitting down to get to work on today's business. It's about doing as I say in my song "Walk It Up:"

It's time to run, buddy, fly and lunge
My rhyme is done if you'd only mind your hunch.
Find the right road and don't budge
'Till your mind is strong and you've realized your punch!

So on this occasion of my birthday, which is also Earth Day, a very important holiday symbolizing our commitment to our Earth, let me just make a reminder to you all out there to take advantage of the time you got to play your game the best you can. What are those shots you haven't taken yet? What are those points you have yet to score? And why not start making use of this moment to get busy with those things that are important to you...?

Because the clock's ticking.

Look out for CWiggz!'s debut release "Here He Comes CW!"
www.cwiggz.com

"What's Your Impossible Dream?" Aka "My Night at the 2010 Grammys"

2010-04-11T21:10:00.000-07:00

Originally posted online on Tuesday, February 2, 2010 at 9:46am

When Taylor Swift stood in front of the TV cameras and the packed auditorium in Staples Center in Los Angeles a couple nights ago and accepted her Grammy for Best Country Album, she said, "I just feel like I'm standing here accepting an impossible dream right now."

I feel you, Taylor. Not that I can boast quite an accomplishment like standing in front of the whole world and accepting a Grammy (yet...lol), yet I can still say with satisfaction (and gratitude) that I feel like I'm living an "impossible dream" of my own. If there really is such a thing as an "impossible" dream.

Get this: if the cameras at the moment of Taylor's acceptance had instead been focused way up in the bleachers of Staples Center on Section 313, they would have seen me and my girlfriend sitting happily watching the event, my girlfriend in her clothes she especially designed for the Grammys, and me in the tux I acquired last fall through the generosity of a family member so I could look classy at my piano shows. If the cameras had been on my face, they would have captured the look of recognition at Taylor's words.

For myself, in the last six years since graduating from UC Berkeley with a degree in music, I have been gradually and steadily developing my music career. In that time, I have already accomplished some personal artistic milestones that I am enormously proud of, such as creating a full-time income doing music, releasing a solo piano album, writing a theatrical piece that was produced two years running by a teen opera program.

And now, going to the Grammys.

Sure, I looked at the winners and performers on Sunday night with admiration and saw the gap between where I am currently and where they are. In the past, I may have been down on myself for not being as successful as others I admire are. But this time, rather than feeling bad, I got inspired.

You know why? Because seeing the stars at the Grammys live and in person makes me see that in myself. It makes me see the personal successes that I am ALREADY achieving, and the incredible joy and fulfillment that is now a daily reality for me, not because of a miracle, but because I worked at it day in and day out.

And because I believed.

Now I see that with the commitment and dedication I have put these last six years into developing into the Artist I've Always Wanted to Be, it's not impossible, but it's only NATURAL that dreams start to happen. Because when you start to take on your dreams, and you act consistently to attain them, you literally start to achieve the "impossible."

And I know this for a fact.

I mean... I made it to the Grammys, baby!

Personally, as I watched the Grammys from Section 313, where you're so high up you can't make out who the speakers and performers are without looking at the big screens, I was happy for each and every performer and award recipient. Because in a way, I feel like I too was receiving a Grammy award of my own.

The Grammy for Believing in the Impossible.

Which reminds me...

What's your impossible dream?

LOOK OUT FOR CHRISGOSLOW.COM STARTING FEBRUARY 8, 2010!

LOOK OUT FOR MY DEBUT ALBUM "HERE HE COMES CW," A BOLD NEW MUSICAL LANDSCAPE INCORPORATING A UNIQUE FUSION OF SONGWRITING, PIANO PLAYING, BEAT MAKING, AND WITTY RHYMES. WWW.CWIGGZ.COM.